My Struggle and Hope

By Michelle T Cain

Struggle is the best way to describe my life since I started secondary school up until now.

Struggle is my best friend, struggle never leaves my side.

It started when my father found another woman and broke up our family. When he didn’t support us anymore I could see the pain on my mother’s face. I appreciate how my mother supported our everyday needs. I could feel the overflowing love of my mother. Every time I saw her sacrifice, I told myself that I would try to have a better life and a happy and complete family of my own.

Then I started a family on my own. But struggle hugged me again. My husband’s family didn’t like me to be part of them. They said I wasn’t worthy. The feelings and dreams I had imagined fell down again. I felt so alone. I felt hatred inside, that the world could be so unfair.

That is why I decided to work abroad. I felt that everything would change if I could earn well, even if I had to leave my family. I always thought that my husband’s family would accept me if I had a lot of money and went abroad.

I went abroad and found work in Singapore, and I felt so happy and hopeful. But then struggle hit me again. I experienced abuse from my employer. She shouted at me and I felt so nervous that I couldn’t handle the shaking anymore. Without anyone I felt so alone. I even blamed God for giving me this kind of problem. I always asked God: What have I done?

But I am not going to give up. I try to fight this struggle in me. I never lose hope. I am still praying that I can overcome this struggling life of mine.

Michelle was staying at HOME shelter, where she wrote this piece during a creative writing workshop run by volunteers